Puppy, time traveling poop preventer.
Puppy,
Don’t poop in the house. Don’t poop on the rug. And especially don’t poop in the dark.
Don’t poop in the house on the rug in the dark where I will step on it.
Puppy, since that didn’t work you will need to invent a time-machine to go back in time and prevent your younger self from doing the above, before I step in it again, previously, or at all.
That is all.
Love,
Your Father
Posted in Puppy and tagged House, Poop, Potty Training, Puppy, Rug, Time-machinewith comments disabled.
Puppy, the shoe muncher.
Puppy,
You are 17 weeks old, you’ve been to training classes for a couple of weeks now, and have proven that you are very intelligent for a puppy. You have shown me that you are learning faster than the average puppy. This little fact is both good and also bad, and you should know that I’m on to you.
You have made the mistake of showing me that you learn very quickly, this was a big mistake if you wanted to keep getting away with mischief, I know that you know better, so just stop it already, just stop. You know to stay out of the shoes; you were doing well leaving them alone for a while, no need to stop with the good behavior.
For now I will keep taking you to your training classes, and working with you for some time consistently every day. After all everyone loves a well trained puppy more so than a misbehaved puppy. Let’s take the journey together, after all you did want to be this old man’s best friend, didn’t you?
Love,
Your Father
P.S. Hold still for the photo next time.
Posted in Puppy and tagged Mistakes, Puppy, Shoes, Trainingwith comments disabled.
Puppy, potty train already!
Dear Puppy,
While I realize that you are only 15 weeks old right now, and that you still require a fair amount of training, I also want you to know that I do not care for you going potty in our home.
We found you and at the time I wasn’t fond of the idea of adding a puppy to our family right then, but when we went to go look at puppies, you stood out from the pack of your siblings. I remember you played it up like I was your best pal in order to get into our family, and it worked. That was then, and this is now. Puppy, you have been found out, and I know you’re really a mommy’s boy now. That said I still enjoy the time we have to play, and the progress that you’ve made with some of your training.
We both know that you know better than to go potty in the house, and most of the time you do a good job at that. However, there are other times where you know you shouldn’t, but rather than let me know so I can let you out to go potty, you sneak off and do the dirty deed as if you think I’m stupid and can’t smell your excrement. News flash puppy, I can smell it, and I don’t like it one bit in my house.
Puppy, I want you to know that I love you or you wouldn’t still be part of the family, and you won’t be going anywhere as long as I have a say about it. That said, you need more training, a lot more training, so you will be getting training, because see the potential in what kind of dog you can grow up to be, and because I love you.
Love,
Your Father
Posted in Puppy and tagged Love, Mommy, Potty Training, Puppy, Sneakywith comments disabled.